R.I.P. Unicorn Pencil Sharpeners

It was such an inspired idea - a unicorn pencil sharpener, with a little silver pencil in place of a horn. Another witty idea brought to us by the same company that brought us the Unicorn Corn Skewers and the Screwnicorn wine opener. An inspired and witty idea - until we tried to sharpen the pencil! No matter what we did we could not bring that silver pencil to a point. We tried some other pencils. Ditto. We tried another unicorn in case it was just one bad one. We tried a third. I wrote to the company to let them know that their product didn't work. It had to be the plastic insert - and we've sold pencil sharpeners for $2 that worked just fine. They never answered our letter. So, sadly, and reluctantly, we let the unicorns go free. We love to sell silly whimsical things - but we do have standards - if it's a pencil sharpener, it has to actually sharpen the pencil. If it's a bottle opener, it has to open the bottle. If it's a pen, it has to write, if it's a medival weapon pushpin, it must push paper into corkboard. We want our customers to feel confident about purchasing our sometimes rather silly items - and that is why our unicorn pencil sharpeners are no more.